Effective Communication: Start with Something Small
If you would not like to end up having very little or too much to say to each other, you should learn how to communicate effectively with your partner. To start with, here’s one misconception that a lot of couples have: just because you talk to each other all the time does not mean that you automatically communicate well. In fact, a study by researchers from the University of Chicago showed that majority of married couples communicate with their partners as they would to relative strangers.
The reason behind this is they tend to overestimate how they are really connecting with each other. Again, just because you are in an intimate relationship does not make you an expert about what the other is thinking. You should never really assume what the other person’s stand is on an issue unless you outright ask.
If you would like to improve on your communication skills as a couple, start with something small. For issues that need to be discussed, never assume what the stand is of your partner unless he or she says something directly about it. When your partner talks about something, really listen. When you start with something small, you are bound to improve the way that you communicate with each other over time.
Effective Communication is How You Say it
Next, even though you have been together for a long time and you know each other’s flaws, never point this out when having an argument. Doing so will make your partner feel on the defensive, and the instinct would be to lash out instead of talk things over with reason.
You should also try to talk about what you want, instead of pointing out what you do not want. Be sympathetic of what the other person is going through. If you don’t have time to argue now, it’s fine to delay it – but make sure to take the time to talk about it. Being specific with what you want and what you think the issues are will go a long way towards understanding each other.
Even if these things end up in a fight or an argument, it’s all part of improving the way you communicate with each other. Just because you argue does not make your marriage or partnership unhealthy, it’s simply part of your growth process as a couple. When you work on communicating with each other effectively, you are bound to make the relationship even stronger over the years.